


Say something, say yes

by DeyaAmaya



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Halloween, Hospitalization, M/M, Major Character Injury, Spirits
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-30
Updated: 2018-10-30
Packaged: 2019-08-10 21:21:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16462550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeyaAmaya/pseuds/DeyaAmaya
Summary: 'I can't leave. I need to say goodbye to your son. I can't leave like this.'Mary smiles. Andrew feels a shiver down his spine. Her lips don't move, but he can hear her voice clear as a bell.'You're not saying goodbye to him.'





	Say something, say yes

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write angst for Halloween! Please let me know if (where) I screwed things up. Also, I don't have a beta so all the mistakes, typo, grammar and tense errors are all mine.

Where is Neil Josten?

 

Ellie took pride in being Neil's biggest fan. She knew everything about Neil Josten. She'd scoured the internet for every bit of information on the striker. Her room had cutouts of Neil in various poses. Her scrapbook held every interview Neil ever gave. She followed him on all the social media accounts. She knew everything about him, everything.

 

But she didn't know where he was, where he'd been for the last two games, where he was today, the last game before Halloween.

 

In his absence, Kevin Day had to work extra hard. The other striker, Hamill wasn't half bad, but he wasn't as suited to Kevin as Neil. The Falcons had won, but barely. Neil's absence was glaring.

 

Where is Neil Josten?

 

Ellie followed along the journalists, wondering if the Falcons would release a statement on Neil's whereabouts. This was very unlike Neil. He never missed games. He at least stayed on the bench. But he hadn't even been seen for the last month.

 

Despite his obvious exhaustion, Kevin Day was talking to the press. Someone asked him about Josten. Even from so far, Ellie could see his face fall. 

 

'Neil Josten is currently with his family. He's going through a very hard time. We are hoping to get him back soon.'

 

_Family?_ Ellie was dumbstruck. Neil Josten has no family! His mobster parents were dead. What was Kevin Day talking about?

 

Where is Neil Josten, really?

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------

One bed.

 

One Chair.

 

One bedside cabinet.

 

One window.

 

Lots of beeping machine.

 

_Andrew._

 

Pale and sleeping and unresponsive for 40 days Andrew.

 

Soon to be declared clinically dead Andrew.

 

The matronly doctor in front of Neil said something before sweeping out of the room. He was alone with Andrew.

 

Neil didn't sit down.

 

He'd been on that chair for the last 39 days. He'd flown over as soon as he could, as soon as he heard.

 

The accident. The stupid, stupid accident.

 

Andrew didn't get hurt on the court. He didn't even get hurt in a car crash. He got hurt at the swimming pool. And he wasn't even swimming, Nicky had sobbed into Neil's shoulder. He was sitting on the poolside reading, fully clothed with his jeans folded up. Some idiot slipped and fell on Andrew, both of them falling on the pool. Andrew banged his head on the rail.

 

Nicky had seen the water turning pink immediately. He'd pulled Andrew up, called an ambulance, called Aaron and Neil.

 

That has been 40 days ago.

 

Neil shakes out of his trance at the sound of his phone ringing. He took it to the window. The number was surprising. 

 

'Lord Ichirou?' 

 

'Neil.' The man sounded very casual. Neil knew not to be fooled by his tone. Ichirou hadn't called to offer sympathy. Actually, Neil knew why he was calling. 

 

'I thought we had a deal, Neil.'

 

'I'm aware.'

 

'Are you, now?' Ichirou's voice hardened almost imperceptibly. 'Then why have you not been at the last three games? Why are you throwing away your career, your everything -'

 

'With due respect, my Lord,  Exy isn't my everything.'

 

Whether Ichirou was surprised at his interruption or simply waiting for an explanation, Neil didn't know. The line stayed quiet.

 

' _My everything_ is right here,' Neil carefully refrained from looking over at the bed, 'My everything might not ever wake up. If that happens, if I lose him, you're more than welcome to take my life as well.'

 

'Don't forget that I protect my investments, Neil Josten.' Ichirou said, and promptly hung up. 

 

Neil really didn't have the time to think of Ichirou's riddles. He was just so tired. He sat on the windowsill for who knows how long; looking out at the sprawling expanse of Berlin, full of lights now.

 

Nicky slipped into the room, quiet and pale.

 

'Neil, come on, go home. Erik and I will be with him. Get something to eat, rest.'

 

Neil wrapped his fingers on Nick's wrist. 'Make sure they don't -'

 

'They won't, I promise they won't,' Nicky whispered to him. 'Go on.'

 

\--------------------

 

Neil is back in the room early in the morning, yelling at the doctors that _no, they can't take Andrew off life support, fuck you very much._ The doctors look cowed enough as they leave the room. Neil is surprised when a new one comes back. He's preparing for another bullshit speech when the doctor smiles and extends her hand. 

 

'Mr. Josten, I'm Haru Miyamura. Lord Moriyama sent me.' she says in heavily accented English.

 

Alarm bells go off in Neil's head even as he shakes the offered hand. The woman is short, about the same height as Andrew. The rail thin body and huge spectacles make her look like a bug.

 

'I'll be taking over Mr. Minyard's care from now on. It's already been arranged with the hospital.'

 

Neil is taken aback. He wasn't aware the Moriyama influenced reached so far. Besides, he never thought Ichirou would be so.... generous.

 

His discomfort must be evident, because Miyamura gives him a small smile.

 

'Please have faith in my expertise. I will help your-' she fumbles with remembering the word.

'K _oibito_ ,' Neil says, almost absent minded. He switches to Japanese. 'If you really are an expert, bring him back to me.'

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

_"Süß oder saueres!"_

 

Kevin jumped at the voice. Turning around, he spied a little girl in a shiny black dress and a pointy hat, looking at him with big blue eyes, holding up a pumpkin shaped baggie. 

 

Right. It was Halloween. Children were trick or treating, even at the hospital. 

 

This kid was probably from the pediatrician ward, Kevin thought, taking in her sickly appearance. Something in her eyes reminded him of a young Nathaniel Wesninsky, pure and so, so innocent. 

 

Kevin fumbled in his duffel, fishing out a squished protein bar out of his exy clothes. He handed it to the girl. 

 

'Err, en-entschuldigung, madchen.' He tried in broken German. The girl grinned at him, a front tooth missing. 

 

'Bis spater.' she mumbled and left Kevin's side. 

 

Kevin went back to the reception, asking for Andrew's room. In a few minutes he was rushed to meet Aaron, Nicky and Neil, all of them in various states of despair. 

 

Neil let out a ragged sigh seeing him, walking out of the room in a hurry.

 

'He went to get the doctor. He wants all of us to be here for the.... the results.' Aaron said. Kevin had never seen him so dishelved. He had a few days worth of pale stubble on his face. Nicky's eyes looked painfully bloodshot. 

 

Then again, Kevin himself wasn't looking all that sweet, probably. He'd left straight from the court, after a minimal shower. Then there was the long flight, lack of sleep and the shadow of panic burning a hole in his stomach.

 

Neil was back with a tiny Japanese woman in pink scrubs. She looked just as, if not more, distressed.

 

'Mr. Josten,' she started in stuttering English. 'And Mr. Minyard. I'm afraid my treatments haven’t been working as well as I'd hoped. Mr. Minyard should've woken up by now.'

 

Neil looked like he'd been punched. 'But, but you told me-'

 

'I have tried, Mr. Josten.' She said softly. 'If he doesn't wake up soon....'

 

She didn't have to continue. They understood, all four of them. 

 

Kevin could see Neil's heart breaking in his eyes.

 

\------------------------------------------------

 

Aaron leaves, Kevin leaves, Nicky leaves after hugging Neil once.

 

Neil goes to sit on his chair.

 

Andrew is asleep. Neil's eyes automatically go to him. The bandaged head, hospital clothes, tubes and sensors. He's lost so much weight.

 

Neil holds one of his hands in both of his. It's cold, despite the hospital's central heating. He brings it up and kisses the knuckles one after another.

 

'Hey Andrew.' he whispers, as if Andrew is merely asleep.

 

'Andrew. You have to come back now, alright? Remember how you told me to stay? You told me to stay. You can't leave me now, okay?'

 

Neil leans on the bed, clutching Andrew's hand tighter.

 

'Don't you remember why you're here in Berlin? You're Nicky's best man, Andrew. You're supposed to help him pick out the cake this weekend, did you forget?'

 

'Fuck..'

 

Neil can tell he's crying. It's a foreign sensation. He's always had a high pain tolerance. The last time he'd cried, he was burying Mary Hatford. It's been more than a decade.

 

'Andrew, Andrew you have to come back. I can't do this. You know how you used to say I'm nothing? You were right. I'm nothing, nothing without you. You're everything. You're my everything. You can't -'

 

Neil fights to breathe between the sobs. He's doubled over, leaning on the side of the hospital bed. 

 

'I've never even told you I love you. I wanted us to play in the same team, play International exy with you. I wanted to move in with you because I hate kissing you goodbye at airports. I think, I think I wanted to marry you.'

 

Neil goes quiet. He hadn't known he was saying goodbye to Andrew. He feels an inexplicable rage at the thought. 

 

'No. I won't give up on you. Not you. Not ever. You have to come back, you have to.'

 

\--------------------------

 

It's nearing midnight when Aaron comes back to Andrew's room and finds Neil asleep, his head on the bed near Andrew's stomach.

 

He notices the tear tracks and Andrew's hand clutched in a death grip. Aaron has never liked Neil much, but at this moment, he's glad his brother has someone like him.

 

Aaron walks up to Andrew, runs a hand through his overgrown hair.

 

'I don't know if you can hear us, Andrew,' he says. 'But I'll say it anyway. Don't do this to us. But mostly, don't do this to him. You're the light of his goddamn life, Andrew. Loosing you would kill him. It's already killing him. For fuck's sake, just wake up.'

 

Aaron isn't expecting Andrew to wake up like he's had an afternoon nap, no. His twin has been unresponsive for more than a month and Aaron is a physician, he knows when to give up hope. 

 

But looking at Neil holding on to Andrew even in his sleep, Aaron dares to feel a last flicker of hope.

 

\---------------------------------------------------------

 

There is a very thin film of something hovering in front of Andrew. It's a bit like smoke, but also a bit like water.

 

On the other side of the smoke is a woman. 

 

Something about her reminds Andrew of Neil, even though her hair and eyes are both dark. Andrew thinks back to the first time he'd seen Neil with brown hair and contacts, and he finally makes the connection.

 

'Mary Hatford.'

 

The woman doesn't answer. She's looking at something behind him, Andrew thinks. He turns a bit, mindful of the woman.

 

Behind him, there's a hospital bed. For a second Andrew is breathless, thinking that it's Aaron. But no, that's not Aaron, is it? It's Andrew himself. And there's his junkie, slumped besides the bed, asleep in a pool of moonlight.

 

Andrew remembers bits and pieces from his time in the hospital. He knows he's been here more than a few days. He knows Neil's been with him every day. He knows his body is wasting away. 

 

There's a weird pull in his sternum, like someone is gently pulling on his lungs. Andrew grits his teeth and turns back to the woman. 

 

Mary is still looking at her son.

 

Andrew waves a hand to attract her attention. 'Lady, I'm not going with you.'

 

She's looking at him now, eerie eyes looking through him. Andrew swallows hard.

 

'If you're worried about your son, you should know I'll never hurt him. Neil is and will always be under my protection.'

 

Her expression is the same blank wall. Andrew wants to curse. He can't leave now. He can't. 

 

'I can't leave. I need to say goodbye to your son. I can't leave like this.'

 

Mary smiles. Andrew feels a shiver down his spine. Her lips don't move but he can hear her voice clear as a bell.

 

'You're not saying goodbye to him.'

 

Mary makes a fist in front of her body and tugs. The sensation in Andrew's sternum goes from gentle to excruciating and he falls down on his knees, his vision blacking out. In the background he can hear Neil.

 

'Andrew! Andrew! No! Aaron! call the nurses. Andrew, stay with me, stay-'

 

The smokes engulf Andrew like a heavy curtain and he's gone.

 

\-------------------------------------------------

 

_Epilogue_

 

It's been a year since that terrible night in Berlin. It's Halloween again. Neil sits on the back porch of the Columbia house and inhales the sweet scent of fall. He has to get up and feed the cats in an hour or so. But other than that, he has nothing else to do. Nothing related to exy anyway. He's been planning to paint the upstairs bedroom, but-

 

The sound of tires crunching on gravels come from the front and Neil is up on his feet in an instant. He runs out the front door and promptly collides with a body. He's about to fall on his arse when a hand snakes around his waist and pulls him up against a warm chest.

 

'What are you doing, idiot?'

 

Neil can't help but smile at him. There's a slight nip in the air and he pulls Andrew inside the house, kissing him as soon as the door closes behind.

 

'I was worried.' he tells Andrew, forehead resting against his.

 

'Relax. I didn't kill anyone.'

 

Neil snorts amd kisses him again before breaking away.

 

It had taken Andrew the whole year to rehabilitate. He had to relearn the use of his limbs like a newborn. It's been a long and frustrating process. But they made it. They both did. 

 

Neil can still remember the night in vivid details. The night he cried and fell asleep clutching Andrew's hand desperately. Andrew had woken up gasping around midnight, the machines around him beeping madly. Doctors surged into the room and shoved out Neil, Nicky and Aaron. They'd waited outside the OT till dawn, when a mousy little intern came to tell them Andrew was stable.

 

Neil sits on the couch and watches Andrew as he sheds his boots, jacket, keys. His movements are still stiff. Today was the first time he went out with the Maserati, all by himself. Neil had been secretly worried sick. 

 

Andrew drops down on the couch besides him, slapping a couple of stacks of paper on the coffee table. He immediately starts working with one. Intrigued, Neil leans closer. 

 

'You're going back to school?'

 

'Law school.' Andrew corrects. He nudges the other stack towards Neil. Neil takes it absently, still looking at Andrew.

 

Andrew's decision to go back to studying isn't a surprise. They'd been talking about his retirement for a while. Rehabilitation had been hard enough. Andrew hadn't wanted the hassle of going back to exy. But Neil didn't know he would be so prompt about applying to the universities.

 

'I'm glad you're doing it.' he smiles, taking out the papers and spreading them on the coffee table. The words on the first page have him grabbing the papers again to take a closer look. 

 

'W-what? Andrew? Marriage Applications?' 

 

Andrew wasn't looking at him, but the back of his neck looked very red.

 

'Don’t you want that anymore?', he asked, a sliver of hesitation in his voice.

 

'Anymore?'

 

Neil doesn't remember ever talking about marriage in front of him. Except...

 

'You- You heard? That night? You heard when I-'

 

Andrew placed a palm over Neil's mouth, cutting off his ramble. He spent a long moment studying Neil's eyes.

 

'I heard.' he said simply, moving the hand to gently cradle his face. Neil nuzzled into his palm, closing his eyes.

 

'Do you really want to? Marry me?'

 

Neil heard Andrew's sharp intake of breath. His thumb traced over Neil's bottom lip. Once, twice. 

 

'Yes,' Andrew said, barely audible. 'Do you?'

 

Neil opened his eyes and scooted closer to him. Even after spending years learning each other like a map, there were still times when they needed the assurance of yes or no.

 

Not today.

 

Andrew lets Neil pull him closer, closer into a kiss. Andrew kisses him like they've never kissed before, like they'll never kiss again and Neil drowns in him. Andrew has pulled Neil onto his lap, wrapping around him in a secure warmth.

 

Neil crushes him closer, thinking _I've lost you once, do you really think I'll let go of you again?_

 

As if there was a choice. As if Neil would ever say no to him. As if Neil wouldn't use this chance to bind himself closer to him.

 

To Andrew, he says, 'It'll make future hospital visits much easier. They won't object to me being in your room if I'm your husband.'

 

Neil's voice breaks in the last word, and he knows Andrew noticed. His face softens further, eyes like molten gold in the fall afternoon glow. 

 

'Yes?' he asks Neil.

 

' _Yes_ , yes, always, always and forever yes.'

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on tumblr! I'm Andreil-Minyasten.


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